Totally agree. We were told they were going round to fit for curtains, turns out the dad was conducting an unofficial survey. Now he’s given us a quote for the work - bit of internet research from the Mrs shows that the quote is from the dad’s brother’s now defunct building company, so the whole thing is a scam. We’ve just said based on the significant reduction in asking price we’re not willing to negotiate on price any further. Agent is bouncing round getting everyone whipped up. Just really hope it doesn’t fall through.
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Agent wants commission, hopefully they can sort.
Talking like I know what I’m on about. I’ll never own a house haha
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That’s the strategy. Let the agent think we’ll pull out. Let them go to work on the buyer cos they think they’ll lose their commission.
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Don’t get fucked, do the fucking. 4-0 vs Estate agents.
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At a zoo earlier. Families everywhere you turn obviously.
An old guy on the next picnic bench sparks up a fag on the bench next to us eating our food (and other kids eating their lunch).
I ask him to put it out and say there’s obviously no smoking allowed here.
He slouches back, puffs put loads of smoke (basically over a load of kids) and goes ‘arrest me then’. I told him i thought he was a really lovely man, because what else can you do?
I think his scum wife started having a go at me too but couldn’t quite make out what she was saying and wasn’t that interested either.
It upsets me really that people can be like this. Ruined my day to be honest because i was just fantasising about kneeling on his neck and burning fags in his scumbag eyes for the rest of the day.
That whole hell is other people thing is the most bang on thing ever. They are the absolute worst.
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I smoke cigarettes, was at a kids fair earlier. I wanted a ciggy. It’s really fucking easy to just walk off somewhere away from children - Michael Fabricant
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Oh wow.
Dude was troubled and crazy but really likeable with it. Can’t say I’m surprised but I’m still shocked if that makes any sense?
Even when frequenting Nuneaton and surrounding, skating with various people, he was always doing his own thing, a local cult figure just popping up like some weird pressure flipping Tom Penny.
Happened to have stayed up late tonight doing jobs around the house and noticed a hot electric smell in the kitchen on the way to bed. The cheap shitty Amazon iPhone charger cable is plugged into the wall but not even plugged into a phone or anything but is smoking, melting and about to burst into flames. Thank fuck I was awake to unplug it.
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Tripped over my dog carrying a plate of food.
Stood on his paw with one foot he’s bolted in front of the other foot. Fucking hoofed him by accident across the floor. 2 shinners. Foods gone flying. His nails detached a bloods splattered everywhere on impact. He’s sat in a pool of pissing blood. Daughters in hysterics traumatised. Fuck my life.
Dopey Michael Fabricant seems fine now tho, very much feeling sorry for himself and his 9 remaining nails.
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Poor little fella!
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I’m convinced I’m going to die on the stairs one day, tripped by a cocker spaniel. Dogs never learn.
They’re nagging for food by spinning around under your feet in pure hype mode, unaware they’d be fed 3x faster and with less risk of death if they just sat there by their bowls like good boys.
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One word: Cats
I said fuck my life.
But not that much.
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3 cats, one Cocker Spaniel and 2 ASD kids.
I didnt imagine my adult life to turn out like this, but here we are*
*this isn’t in mean spirit, rather jest.
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New work piss off.
Client can’t work a TV remote.
Somehow it’s my fault.
Swear if I got a job selling cars, someone would buy a car and blame me for them being shit at driving and crashing it.
©️unt
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Maybe nsfw
Woke up this morning, took a piss, went downstairs to start making breakfast. I felt some dampness in my shorts and thought I’d fallen victim to a phantom trickle. Weird considering I was pretty sure I had finished. Dampness felt quite wet so figured I might need to get changed. Put my hand down there and it comes up covered in blood.Slight panic. Beeline to the bathroom to try and wash up. Blood all over my legs and shorts. Trying to spot the origin because thank fuck it isn’t my uretha or ass. Looks like a gash in my sack but no pain.Turns out I spot what I think was a couple of ingrown hairs of small skin growths that I’d mannaged to pull off whilst casually rearranging my jewels. Litterally a tiny hole in my sack and blood steading pouring. Had to wake super wife up to help me tape down a compress.All good now. Wife had to remind me that pulling off the tape late could cause another bleeding. No thanks.You know how certain parts of the body can bleed a lot. Well your ball sack is one of them.I spare you a photo of my shorts. They’re already in the wash.
Ingrown hairs can be so annoying. Got one on my leg last autumn, got an infection because of it and I now have a weird scar there. I don’t care about the scar but fuck, went through too much trouble for a stupid hair. Luckily I work with nurses and didn’t have to go to my doctor’s and pay for that.
Best wishes to the plums
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Thoughts and prayers @MaxFacePalmer 
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Ooof! Catching the skin on your nuts is the worst, literally pisses blood at an alarming rate.