Parenting/Discipline

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Can anyone link me some decent parenting/discipline books please? Me and wife have ominous feeling our 15 month old daughter is about to start taking the piss. Cheers

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My 2 year old is defiantly taking the piss. Shes started asking to be told off because its ‘funny’.

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Talk about warning bells

Being consistent and on the same page as your partner, any incling of a contradiction or a crack between the parents they pick up on it and use it.
It’s easy to tell your kids not to do something, it’s hard to keep a straight face and do it with conviction everytime because they make you howl with some of the stuff they do. You have to do it though otherwise they will run the house.

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She just slowly put her arm over the side of the high chair and dropped a load of veg on the floor after I’d just told her not to do it, all whilst not breaking eye contact.

Cheeky fucker, I must STOP THIS MADNESS.

Our smallest is doing that, so we’re working on the same shit ha.
Defiant little fuckers.

When you tell them off, most of the time they’ll smile/laugh and will continue to do it but you can tell when it gets through when they pull the upset face and the bottom lip goes. Cute, heartbreaking but nescessary.

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Ha, at that age they haven’t a clue about right and wrong. Everything is a science experiment, cause and effect. Just have to keep explaining why things are the way they are, why you shouldn’t throw your food on the ground, etc. But yeah, she’s 15 months old.

My son lives with his mum and is 3 and a half, he’s so well behaved and even though i’m pretty soft with him when he stays with me he doesn’t push it and is never a problem. He does kick off a bit when I drop him back with his mum but I think that’s because he has so much fun when he’s with me and doesn’t want me to leave him.

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That’s the thing, every kid is different from day one even though I wouldn’t have believed it before having kids. So much is passed on from the parents. You’d be surprised what they pick up on really early on. If the parents are calm the kid will be, if the parents are bonkers, the kid will be, if there is always shouting, noise, arguing, you can bet you’ll have behaviour problems with your kids. Not always the case obv.

Not sure books help although I have never bothered with any.
cuntflambe is about right in that they learn from the parents.
You are the equivalent of the books that the kids will learn from.
First son is 6 now and just has a bit of an issue knowing when to speak and when to shut up or to be still. Other than that he is well behaved, just a bit fucking irritating.
Second son is now 16 months and really chilled.

Just bought this as it came up in my recommendations, started reading it and I think I may have unconsciously bought it for myself rather than baby, as it touches on a lot of issues that arise from parents’ experiences as a kid and how you pass down behaviours, I find this shit fascinating https://www.amazon.co.uk/Book-Wish-Your-Parents-Children-ebook/dp/B07GRBB9WQ/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1554713661&sr=1-5

Only advice I can give from the get go is find a good rhythm and stick to it. Undoubtably kids change their habits of their own accord - notably with food. However, the morning routine or bedtime routine should always be the same. Start fucking up with that and you will have real trouble next time you expect something of them.

Try and agree and stick with the same stance as your partner and DON’T argue in front of your kids.

I have a pet peeve with parents that talk to their kids like their morons. You’d be surprised just how smart a kid is. None of that icky-wicky telly tubbies chat please.

On topic: I tried reading a parenting book before my first kid was born and it freaked me out because it pretty much used nothing but extreme cases to explain stuff.
Every kid is different and no matter how good of a parent you are, other parents will still judge you.

This. I have a 6 year old and a 14 month old. The 6 year old is a master at this. Unfortunately, my missus is a soft touch and isn’t always on board with telling him off when it’s needed. Unfortunately it’s gone past the point of us salvaging any unified front now. Ironically, the missus loves supernanny and those types of programmes so she knows about the working together thing but is happy to give little man an out which he exploits.

I think I’m the soft one. Probably because I’m a man-child still and cant help but be daft 99% of the time.

haha! I am too though but it’s the whole level thing. I’m silly with them, Mum tells them off until they reach a threshold then dad telling off kicks in, but we have another level where mum 2.0 kicks in if it dad telling off does not work. I think they know these levels as they work. They know what they can get away with. Most of the time we get a sorry as soon as they have done something that warrants a higher level ha

Bride them, this doesn’t mean spoiling them. They can’t have ice cream, while you’re enjoying a big plate full, because ice cream is only for people who behave. Do you want ice cream? Are going to behave? Now you have to promise, so you can’t break it, daddy doesn’t break his promises, ect. Oh you broke the promise, no more ice cream ever again. Then while they are being good, engage in something else that is productive. Drawing/colouring and talking to them. Don’t over egg this, keep it short and fun.

Hide and seek, mine don’t want to be found, I can get a good 20 mins to myself, haha.

It’s not even lazy parenting, it works, haha.

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They tend to turn out all right in the end, is my experience. Just spend a lot of time together as a family, eat your meals together every day, talk to each other. There will be rows (thankfully, as the father of 2 girls, they’ve tended to have blazing rows with my wife rather than me) but they come out the other side. My eldest is back at home after university; my youngest is at university now. There are adjustments to make as they grow up, but you get there.

100% winging it right now but have a 4 month old.

Try and get them sleeping in a separate room as soon as you can.
Somehow our second is still in ours at 8mths and it’s not great.

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