Been reading up on this and applying some principles to help me deal with a lot of daily life drama/stress. Anyone else into it?
I like the idea of not comparing yourself to anyone else and just making yourself better than you were yesterday. Also of taking shit as it comes, like the only thing you can control in a situation is your reaction to it. The situation itself doesn’t create stress, it’s just in your head.
I think this is a good way to be from I’ve seen anecdotally and my own experience. For example if you compare yourself to an absolute top achiever then any progress you make could be met with an attitude of ‘well I’m still nowhere near that person so what was the point?’ instead of just simply playing the hand your dealt the best you can and recognising your progress/effort to make things better.
I’ve found so much stress is generated by exactly that; inner tension you’ve just created yourself. It’s all very much easier said than done though, putting it into practice is the hard part but thinking it through and having general strategy is a good start in my opinion.
Yep. Basically run your own race and only worry about the stuff on a needs first basis.
Theres a ton of really gnarly shit we’re going through at the minute and Im trying to apply that with varying degrees of success. I think its working though.
Recently been applying this into how I think and deal with anything coming up in the future. Before I would constantly ruminate on a certain situation, usually leading me to not enjoy it i.e going away, festival etc.
Now I just do what I can do, stay in control and just be prepared, really.
Also forgetting about situations where you ‘could have, would have, should have’. As long as you know to learn from any mistakes and try to keep going steady, it should all be pukka.
as the great Nate Dogg Aurelius once said:
Stoic weed everyday.
Live in a barrel.
Refuse to wear clothes.
Wank in public.
Because nothing matters except virtue.
Sorry dude. This is totally bollocks. Society, capitalism, inequity does create real hardships for people. I think it’s important to be switched on and responsive to what’s going on around you. This is some real gas-lighting, ‘the problem lies with yourself’ type thinking and to quote the philosopher Chief Keith ‘that’s some shit I don’t like’.
I know you mean well by this thread and are really just suggesting this as a coping mechanism, so sorry in advance for being a curmudgeon, but I see the same type of discourse around ‘mindfulness’.
My god. How about that, I’ve learnt something today
No I think you’re missing the point, this isn’t blaming external events on yourself, quite the opposite.
Say you are sessioning a trick, can’t do it. You can stress out, blame your shoes/new trucks/whatever, but your shoes are not by themselves generating that stress or that feeling. Your new trucks are not affecting anyone else. Your reaction to not meet criteria which you deem personally acceptable in this situation is causing the stress which is caused by your own reaction. And you can be aware and can control your reaction if you choose to do so.
Or say god forbid there’s an earthquake and your house gets destroyed but you weren’t in it. No fault of your own. You are homeless. You have the choice of how you react to the situation. It was not your fault, clearly. So you can be either stoked you are alive or bummed you no longer have a house. Which attitude do you think will be better for your mental health? No amount of overthinking or stressing will bring your house back.
Unless I’ve missed the point? I don’t understand the gaslighting bit
I agree with trying not to get overly stressed over things beyond our control but think it’s also pretty important to understand that situations just are stressful sometimes. Feeling stressed is a normal reaction that exists for a reason. It’s what happens when you are in an extreme situation and have to react. I don’t think it’s realistic to expect to react calmly to the loss of your home in an earthquake even if you can take a moment to reflect on the fact that you aren’t dead.
Apologies. I get you. You are talking more about a state of mind and self-discipline rather than burying your head in the sand.
I’d never heard of this as a philosophy to live by before. I’m naturally pretty stoic, and if something goes wrong I tend to rationalise it by finding positives or playing down the effects. I try not to get emotional and to think about the best way to move forward.
Winds my wife up something awful. She’s the exact opposite and I’ve learned not to respond with emotionless clear-headed suggestions when someone or something has pissed her off, haha! But I genuinely find it hard to blame people or things for causing me distress, I do feel I have the power to choose not to react.
I think it can make you a bit emotionless and distant and isn’t a good way to be all the time. It has its useful times, but I don’t see it as a better way to live.
Definitely a useful concept to have in mind when things aren’t going right, but you don’t wanna be this guy.
What you are discussing is at the heart of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and is a really useful and freeing way to travel. It can be exhausting when our mind run away and I have found it a really useful set of pointers and guides. This and plenty of exercise has proven to be a game changer. Here’s a little link that outlines the basic principles of CBT. I just googled it so probably worth looking around yourself and listening to some good heads
Eckhart Tolle is ace
Alan Watts has alway been a goto. He has a great sense of humour.
Enjoy the ride x