The look sweet but that is a house youâre never leaving if you enter, except in the belly of a polar bear. Theyâre absolutely gnarly.
If youâre approached by a bear:
If itâs black, attack.
If itâs brown, stay down.
If itâs white, take flight.
Definitely wonât remembering all that when it matters.
If itâs brown, sit down. Works on many levels.
A bull crept up behind me when I was fishing once and I didnât realise it was there until it did a loud exhale and started to âdrop patsâ.
That was enough for me, thanks.
I was out swimming on Boxing Day and was joined by a harbour/ common seal for around 15 minutes. I could barely shift the stupid grin off my face for the rest of the day.
Where was this? Sounds well scary.
My mother in law swims in the sea every day in Cornwall rain or shine but always runs away when thereâs seals nearby.
Pretty sure Iâd do the same lol
I was swimming in a very quiet beach in India and a dolphin jumped out the water really close to me.
I absolutely shit my pants and exited the water immediately.
Itâs not that Dolphins are âdangerousâ, but they are fucking massive and it nearly landed on me.
Itâs also not the same as âswimming with dolphinsâ at sea world or wherever you can pay to do it, this was in the wild.
It was cool but it was definitely not fun.
Dolphins are sex pests. They actually try and rape people.
Or have actual consensual sex with you (if youâre Che Guevara).
Oh great, thatâs something Iâm not going to be able to ever forget.
Nice one.
Iâve got something to take your mind off Che Guavara.
Dolphins rape each other, and literally fuck each others blowholes!
Fuck swimming anywhere near one of the dirty bastards.
Thanks for confirming I did the right thing.
Canât remember what thread the 1984 chat was in.
This is very #cmoac, I went snorkelling when I stopped off at Byron Bay the first time I went to Aus.
Ended up swimming amongst a few turtles and some incredible looking fish. I took a closer look a little deeper into the water and noticed about 3 or 4 small sharks chilling below me. I decided to carry on with what I was doing as they seemed chilled enough.
Later that day I saw a load of humpback whales near the same spot. Fucking amazing day.
A small jellyfish lightly caressed my foot in Croatia and I said âfuck thisâ and got out.
When I was a kid I found a big turd sitting at the bottom of the pool and me and my brother spent the whole morning swimming down to look at it. Would probably stay out of the pool after seeing that these days.
It was a simpler time eh?
Who needs Playstation when youâve got a turd at the bottom of the pool?
