Horrific/funny stories of your Christmas/work parties please
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Pretty tame, but I few years ago it got to about 7pm - the party (and the drinking) had started at midday - and I suddenly remembered I was supposed to meet my then girlfriend outside Brixton academy as we had tickets to see Mogwai.
I turned up over an hour late. She was not happy in the slightest and the only reason I know I was there is because I have a video of it on my phone. I have no actual memory of it thanks to the daytime open bar.
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Actually, hereās a better one. The first work Christmas party I ever went to was about 9 years ago - my first proper job post uni and Iād been at the company 2 months. It was quite a boozy agency with a relatively younger staff, so everyone was on it.
I ended up making out with a girl from the office, which I was stoked about, and she seemed really into it, which was surprising at the time as she was 100% out of my league in any normal situation.
Anyway, it turned out that she had secretly got married the weekend prior to her boyfriend for visa reasons, hadnāt told anyone and had realised sheād made a huge mistake so was now trying to get out of it by any means necessary - and I was one of those means.
They stayed together for another 4 years I think.
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Work party at ad agency, was about 20 years ago now. Theme was schoolboys/schoolgirls. Drank tequila all night, woke up in the forest about a mile away from home, dressed in normal clothes. Lost my bag/keys. Went to police station on off chance a couple weeks later asI was passing and described bag and it was literally under the counter where I was speaking to the copper and he handed it straight back to me, stoked.
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Had a work Xmas party at Ministry of Sound. My wife fell off her high heels and knocked herself unconscious. She woke up really confused and wasnāt sure where she was or who I was, que the bouncers getting well suspicious of me and separating us. Eventually had to get out my driving licence to persuade them that we were married and live together
Spent the rest of the night sobering up in A&E which was lovely
Jeez, who takes their bird to the work Christmas party?
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I went to a christmas do on saturday and felt someone grabbing my arse. Thought it was a mate so turned round and saw a bird who looked like a cross between Gru from Despicable Me and Danny DeVito from Batman. Fucking terrified. Just stood incredibly still like she was a TRex and just waited for her to go away. Harrowing
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If it makes you feel any better sheās sworn never to attend one again after that. Whatās wrong with spending time with your missus at things? Geez
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Was hoping for some lols but all I have been delivered are nightmares
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Partners were always banned from any work nights out Iāve been to (although Iāve only had two jobs) because you want everybody to be able to get shitfaced and bitch about their partners. And then shag each other.
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It was for the clubs christmas party so it was about 20 bearded tattooed blokes with cauliflower ears getting felt up by assorted boilers.
There was one guy there who is a bit weird, only been with the club a few months as a brand new white belt. Named Raymond. He gets there half an hr before it starts, noone else is there so one of the guys arrives, recognises him, goes over and says āalright mate, you here for the club do?ā And he instantly recoils in horror and shouts āIm not GAY please leave me aloneā
He then proceeded to stay for hours barely talking to anyone apart from telling everyone how tough they were on his toughness scale, threw up outside the pub then came back inside and fell asleep on the coats. Absolute hero
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It was over twenty years ago now when I was in charge of a small team . We were working in conjunction with a much larger corporate entity. None of us drank and we couldnāt be arsed with parties, let alone Christmas. It was corporate policy that everyone attend the organised Christmas party. I think it eventually sunk in with the bosses that we werenāt down with heading up to HQ for their Christmas bash and so they made an exception and sent me a cheque to cover us all having our own party closer to home.
The only stipulation was that we were to provide photos of said party to prove we had actually had one, and for them to include in some office circular thing documenting all the āfunā had by those attending the Christmas bash.
I took the cheque to the bank and cashed it. I then went off and bought everyone an ounce of weed each, handed it out, everyone was stoked and we all went out for pizza with the remaining cash. Head office never asked for those photos, which was fortunate.
I suppose thatās a no Christmas party story though.
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A guy at mine a few years ago left his door pass on the wrong side of a door and got stuck in the office stairwell all night.
A security guard found him whilst on his rounds early in the morning, heād done a shit on the floor.
Not sure what happened to him after that.
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Had a party on a boat a few years ago, everyone a bit seasick and tequila sick and I saw someone throw up into a girls mouth while kissing. Might have been the other way round. Or they might both have chundered at the same time, nobody is sure.
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The best ones are when the newest person gets drunk out of nervousness and ruins their brand new job for themselves. Seen it multiple times when the newbie never comes back after the Xmas break.
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