Brewers love it when you steal their glasses. Free advertising in your house. They give logo glasses away!
Also it’s less for the pub to wash up. Was good when you could get complimentary ashtrays too.
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When I was skint I got all my bogroll from my local.
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I used to have two shits a day at work. The pandemic has caused my bog roll bill to go up an insane amount
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I was thinking the other day that my tea consumption is easily up 5 times from 2019.
Tea companies must be cleaning up with everyone WFH.
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Women use bogroll at like. 4:1 ratio compared to men. God knows what they do with it all.
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I’d pay money to leave this wedding right now.
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Other way round in my house. My wife will use a teeny little square, whereas I have to at least double fold a good length for each wipe. Also for some reason my snot production goes into overload when I’m on the throne, so it gets used for that too.
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Get fully smashed, follow some women into the ladies and just stand there talking to them like it’s completely normal, while they start crying because you won’t leave, it’s how my exes now partner got them kicked out of a wedding a few weeks ago. Haha.
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It’s not working voodoo. Now I’m having sex with 5 different women at the same time because of my unbelievable charisma and good looks. What am I supposed to do now?
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just sneak out
And disappoint all the second cousins? K.
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Stand back and enjoy the show now.
Ah I didn’t realise the scope of the situation.
Is it on of those weddings where you have to be gone by midnight, and they word it on the invite as if that’s a glamorous thing; “carriages at midnight,” but really you’ve had a right old pain up the arse of a time booking a taxi because every other Brian there wants one at exactly the same time, and there’s only 3 taxi companies in a 20 mile radius because the venue is in the middle of nowhere?
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Yeah it’s in the piss end of nowhere. We prebooked the taxi ages ago which thank fuck I’m now in.
It’s one of those weddings where I knew my wife and 1 other couple there. A total waste of time and money.
Worst wedding I’ve ever been to as well. Worst food. Worst band. Absolutely dead.
How did you know the bride and groom?
School friend of my wife. Never met the groom.
Fucking hell, some people invite anyone.
I’m so glad I’ve met a woman who is happy with a small wedding and we don’t have to invite her whole life history.
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Have you learnt nothing in the last few years? Start coughing loudly whilst trying to persuade people that brexit could still be a success
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Fucking hell, why did you go in the first place? Sounds grim. I got invited to a wedding a couple of weeks ago and would only have known the groom and two others so just said Id catch up with them after the wedding and they can invite someone else
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