Seems I jinxed myself when talking about everything being great so I didn’t need to do that list of thanks in the other thread.
This year has been hard in some respects and it’s highlighting some cracks relationship wise. I’m pretty sure me and the wife are splitting up. Not saying it for sympathy, i’m kinda of letting it out there to make it real so I can deal with it rather than bury my head in the sand. Been together for 21 years and three amazing boys, wouldn’t change anything apart from getting too comfy and taking things for granted, bloke shit of course.
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Oh man, that’s shit. 21 years though. Can it not be rescued
Not sure, at the moment it seems it’s the only option but who knows, This week has been a confusing time.
This year has been a confusing time for everybody. Don’t be too hasty with any big decisions…
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like build said, 2020 has been crazy. families have seen more of each other than normal and everyone is stressed. don’t be too hasty. i know it’s hard as a man to talk about things but is it worth considering something like couples counseling?
Sorry to hear this mate.
I hope things will go well for you and your family.
You know where we are if you want advice, or just need to talk or anything.
Sorry to hear that. Any chance Xmas might be a happier time and you can make the decision in the new year?
Hope you’ll be ok Bankskater.
NHS midwifery team have been so shit it’s nearly caused my wife to have a nervous breakdown with just a few weeks til the birth and we’re going to have to fork out £3.5k for 5 weeks private midwife support.
Clearly just want the best for her and it’s not about being tight, it’s the principle that I’m already paying for the NHS in taxes then having to pay private cos they can’t get their shit together, plus that cash could have been start of savings for the new baby.
The worst.
If you can afford it then do it.
Had we known how bad it was going to be from when we went in to hospital to start induction for labour we would have just paid for private.
They left my wife in a room with the baby for 10 hours and I wasn’t allowed in. Mental.
So sorry to hear this @anon90826813. Have you been down the relationship counselling route yet? If not, an objective perspective can be really helpful.
Fuck man NHS smashed it for us.
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Same here, but there was no pandemics cracking off when we had ours. Everything has turned to shit now.
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Thanks everyone. I’m definitely a culprit of self fulfilling prophecies so I can cut my nose off to spite my face. I don’t want it to end but if there are big problems i’m more in the vein of sorting them out and heading for the inevitable result, even though I have glossed over any potential issues throughout these 20odd years. I’m not getting clear messages, They’re hitting home clearly though and all I can read from them is we’re done but lets wait until it’s amicable, easier and get this time of year over with, all to save some face. I would never be bitter over it, there hasn’t been any physical reason for this so no bitterness so it would be amicable but once the actual ending scenario is suggested, I want to head there and get it done.
I don’t want a brexit but if there is no avoiding it, just do it ha.
Hopefully though you still have faith in the actual NHS, we have to remember that the NHS is still the best thing this country has but it’s being run too much like a business by greed so it’s broken to fuck. The NHS workforce aren’t to blame but at the same time you have to protect your own and do the best for them so not using your NHS facility might be the best option.
Our Hospital have not been the best in many instances but for our 3 kids births, they were stellar, every time.
It seems lately you’ve been misinterpreting people on here, and maybe not making as much sense as you reckon you are. Could it be a communication breakdown, rather than anything bigger? As @nazoreth, people being forced to spend all their time together is no good for anyone.
Maybe you’ve just run out of conversation because there’s nothing to talk about because nobody is doing anything, and then the weirdness has set in.
No idea about your situation, and you know what’s going on better, but maaaaaybe don’t assume the worst if it hasn’t actually been mentioned.
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Yeah, you’re right and i’m trying my hardest not to be too hasty and i’m also trying to not overthink and devil advocate myself to death. I’m aware of all the angles but I have to do my best to give credence to the right option rather than fighting for my honour.
It’s fucking hard though. I’m all for showing that i’m not perfect and take the chinks in the armour but when it actually happens, it’s real. I always say that I have no ego, at least not in the typical sense of the word but knowing very well that it’s there and i’m protecting it more than I let on I think.
99% of the time they are brilliant and I’m a big fan but on this occasion it’s just been an individual midwife who doesn’t seem to give a shit or know what she’s doing, working within a really badly organised team. There’s always two sides though so point taken.
Plus hospital setbacks that are usually easy enough to just shrug off are not when your 7 months pregnant, the hormones are through the roof so everything is a ‘disaster’.
Much as I fucking love the NHS and will defend it to a fault, you have to be realistic and accept that in an organisation that big there are gonna be some shit people working there, and that can have a massive effect.
Hope it all works out for you man, if you need something to help you both understand the process better I can recommend a really good hypnobirthing course. Sounds wanky but we would have had a very different experience without it.
Our midwife was awful. Every other midwife was lovely but ours! She didn’t break the waters like she was meant too also, which lead to complications in my daughters birth. Which thankfully they were not long lasting.
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