Pointless Topics

Last one:

Swimmer getting on in sport (13)

Hint: why would I post this on this forum?

Ooh or this one:

Fish and snake on the road, one sliding down the street? (10)

SKATE + BOA + RD

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Correct. I did a site search on 15squared for skatey things.

The other one is skateboarding (‘swimmer’ = skate + ‘getting on’ = boarding)

I’ve only ever been able to do crosswords using quick clues (and far from every time) so when @jamjar & yourself posted those links further up the page I thought I’d give them a read and learn how to answer the cryptics.

Now, the more I read of this thread the more I think I’ll stick to my Take A Break Word Search Book.

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Noo. I don’t want to put you off. You don’t need to be clever or anything to solve them. You just need to know how to get started.

I got this book and flicked through it and by the end I knew how to solve them. My mum is obscene at them as well so I can text her tricky ones and ask her to break things down why.

I would post you my copy but its been in my bog for about 5 years so I don’t think you’d want that haha.

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Haha!! That’s extremely kind Les, but you can keep your toilet book. I’ll read the articles and see how it goes.

At least the Viz one will be funny and easy!

You’d have thought.

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8 across is triar fuck or friar tuck. One of those.

Ah! A spoonerism. Of course.

It’s hard to do it without writing things down.

I’ve got these but the rest have me stumped for the time being.

Across
8. Friar Tuck (‘try a fuck’ spoonerised. Very nice)
10/25. Relieve oneself
12. Tipsiest
14/8. Come first (I lol’d)
19. Iraq
27. Agree

Down

  1. Hill
  2. Arterial (I think)
  3. Superstar
  4. Genital growths etc. I thought this was balls but I’m not sure.
  5. No stomach for pill etc: Philanders (no stomach for pill means you take the middle letters out of pill leaving pl and add it to an anagram of Sheridan. I liked that one)
  6. Swore; effed
  7. Erection etc: Boner
  8. Part of a camel etc: Else

I’m struggling on the rest because there’s a lot going on in a lot of those clues. Need a fresh dirty mind for them maybe.

Wtf is going on with this. It’s turned the bottom one’s into a list and I can’t edit it in any way.

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Jeez Les.

I thought 7. camel was ‘toes’ and gave up. nice to know I was wrong on the only one I thought I got.

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Its hidden in the clue.

Part of a camelsexualised, otherwise

Same deal with the Iraq answer for 19a.

Nope I need one or two more to get going here. Really want to know the fat lass at Gregg’s one.

I’ve cheated and sent it to mum. She will do that in under 2 minutes. Lets get you that 50 quid.

20a OFFPISTE

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Haha yes!

15 down is scaffold I think. I still don’t quite get the right hand side of the clue.

I got so hung up on it about being a trapeze artist or something.

I need to print a hard copy but I’m out of ink. Not sure how much time I should devote to this. I can feel my brain turning to mush.

I’ve got the solution if you want…

17 down - in pieces (chess pieces, bishop)
19 down - scaffolds (scalds, burns)

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Hang on hang on I’m getting there slowly.

6 down is lavatories.

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