Greece and Roman. They used to have pigs shagging women and all sorts going on in the Colosseums and stuff. Before boring Christianity came along!
Christianity basically stopped the progress of engineering for a millennium, and so many religious buildings are built on top of really advanced engineering sites. The church basically said, âYo, isntead of doing all this work and getting a reward, why not just do what we say, then get an award in the AFTERLIFE? Yeah?â and everybody dropped their tools and started praying. It was a bit like, âGod makes things. You donât. Nice sanitation/road/arches/aqueduct/calendar/medicine, but if god wanted that to exist heâd have invented it, alright?â
Weâd probably have had Mario Kart a thousand years ago if it wasnât for the fucking church.
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Weâd have climate change done and dusted by now too be it alive or dead. Fucking Christians delaying it all till now !
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This morning whilst sat on the beach in Israel I debunked the myth that Jesus walked on water.
He was defo fucking paddle boarding.
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Paddleboarding is such a fucking kook thing as well. Jesus was a kook.
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Jesus was a paddle boarding kook.
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A headline you donât see every day.
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I mean, iâm sure longboarding and rollerblading are still fun.
It just depends if you care about it being kooky 
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Or if anyone finds out. 
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What do fat birds and longboards have in common, theyâre both a fun ride till your mates find out.
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Longboards are not fun though. They are deathtraps to normal skaters. You try and get out of a trouble turn on one and youâll see. Not that I have actually tried but my limited experience shows that they are fucking stupid. You need a tail otherwise youâll die.
Does anyone ever find the hilarity in this;
Longboarders cannot really do tricks and thus, rely on it to just get about quickly. So, they spend all of their time riding about.
But how come most of them donât have board control and still push mongo, when thatâs all they do is ride about?
Maybe Iâm neglecting the fact that they donât know anything when it comes to mongo pushing and thatâŚand donât bother to worry about those things like skateboarders do. Although the board control is something that you should have if thatâs all you do is blitzing around townâŚ
It is really funny to watch them tank through the middle of Swansea with a fat mongo push, thereâs just something to the way people cock their leg up as they do it.
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I can understand longboards for going really fast down very big hills because they donât get into speed wobbles as easily, other than that I just donât get it.
Whatâs worse is electric longboarders , never seen so many bambi legged full body armoured idiots barely keep control of something faster than they can push.
And they still get on and off them in mongo stance .
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To all the VanDem.
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I like the fake review
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If he skated a longboard
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Is that Long Board VanDam?
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Mate honestly just get a 80âs shortboard replica. Same as a rad dad getting a Powell reissue for bowl carving. And then if you want to cruise on lakes/flat water try get a kayak - but one with no sides and seatbelts and shit. Tow your kids around on donut inflatables and stuff with that tooâŚ
Also hard to judge anyone for kookiness when Iâm solidly in the market for one of these (but with a sunshade and portable bbq) Quintrex Explorer boats for SALE | Hunts Marine - Three NSW locations
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