My daughter is watching the new twits movie on Netflix.
It’s fucking awful. Complete and utter dogshit.
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Exactly what i thought. Terrible adapation. These people were supposed to hate each other. Not team up against some orphans. Even jonny vegas was wasted.
Fireworks. The dog is not stoked. Please just fucking stop by 10…I have kids in bed and the dog is going nuts FFS.
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Still going on here … why?
Divali!
And as Divali tails off, Bonfire night begins. Then sporadic outbursts until Christmas and NYE.
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I blame shops for messing up everyone’s seasonal body clocks. You have to go past the Christmas stuff, in front of the Halloween products, to buy your fireworks. No-one knows when anything starts and finishes anymore.
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hahaha, it is nuts and it all starts mid-August 
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I went to a massive Halloween Party in August. Might do Christmas next weekend. Fuq it
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+1 on the Twits being utter shit. Could’ve at least made Mrs twit look craggy and haggard and not like your averages chav mum
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Morning. Woke up in trouble. My son had been ill overnight (and still is) and I slept all the way through it.
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Lunchtime. I nudged a glass measuring jug into the skink. It gently fell in, bounced once and then simply exploded in my face. My entire saturday afternoon was spent cleaning glass shards out of the blast radius. Went absolutely everywhere.
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Evening. My dads posting again
Warning: contains standard boomer racism
What a fucking prick.
Fuck this day.
Thought the blurred out thing was going to be some gore from the jug incident while I was reading that.
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Multiple oof
Bet that fb page is based in Moscow
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Wife has a friend with a lovely kid who goes to Judo with my daughter. They get on famously, my wife and her friend just sit and chat every week while the kids are battering each other.
Her husband is a 110% conspiracy nut, within the first 10 minutes of a conversation about where we all went on our respective honeymoons, we mentioned that we went to New York, he answered back with “you know jet fuel can’t melt steel beams”
His Facebook is a riot
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No doubt, I’d put money on most of the anti-EU stuff prior to Brexit came from that way too.
On holiday in Egypt. Got the shits with the wife obviously and am aching all over. Uuuurgh
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Double shits?
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The Squirts 
Thoughts and prayers etc
Hopefully you have access to 2 bogs?
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We are tag teaming the one big we do have. Wife is freezing, chattering and I am pouring with sweat.
Kids aren’t sick. Yet.
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