As Neil Chester would say “Mini ramp? Kook-magnet.” 
Fun fact: The term ‘kook’ is a derivation of the Hawaiian word for shit, ‘kū.kae’.
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Saw Mogwai play last night and think I’ve gone deaf in my left ear
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I’m at a play park and an 8 year old is quite loudly and proudly showing off his swearing. Best his mum can muster is an occasional hey now. I’ve never experienced this before.
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Ah best leave and tell them you’ll meet them at home.
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Americans are so fucking weird when it comes to drinking/drugs/sobriety
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Best thing for me about quitting weed was being able to answer any phonecall without having a panic attack. I had a one hour window from getting in from work to getting stoned where I had to pay any bills or do anything requiring normal human abilities, after that I was just baked and useless until I woke up the next day with a weed hangover. I think I did 20 years like that. What a waste of time haha.
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As you hit enter on that post, across the globe in california, beagle just woke up in a hot sweat, panting and disoriented.
To reassure himself he picked up his copy of shrimpblunt that he keeps on his nightstand and snuggled it tightly to his chest for comfort as he tried to reassure himself that everything’s fine, despite the strange feeling that something in his universe feels off kilter
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Was thinking to myself “I don’t get it” but then realised you meant that big haired goof bloke version of a Valley Girl Beagle not Josh Beagle.
Would have been a funny post if I hadn’t messed up your joke in my head.
There’s no way Beagle is affected by trans-Atlantic negative weed sentiment.
Your love for shrimpblunt links the two of you on the astral plane.
Just like a twin can feel it’s counterparts pain despite no physical connection, when you express a disdain for non stop bong rips, beagles mind spasms with anti weed fog, temporarily bewildering him
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Obviously I’m doing a poo on company time and haven’t really dug into todays emails yet
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My favourite kind of poo.
(Probably not the best grammar there)
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Speaking of weed
I got an insta follow this morning from a handmade leather riser company
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I was taught from a young age that “weed saves lives”
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An old colleague of mine & I used to call these a ‘a professional’.
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Telesales in Barca, literally everyday high 2015-17, I loved talking shit to random
CEOs trying to sell them a 3k seat at a conference.
My late grandad always used to tell me “never sweat nor shite on your own time.” Usually whilst supping a cuppa in front of football, cricket or golf on the TV.
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Mine used to say
“When you get older, never trust a fart and never waste a boner”
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