Weird shit your better halves pull you up on

Missus has regular freak outs over me leaving (cleaned) pots/pans on the kitchen worktop to dry. That’s fine and all but she says she would rather I left them dirty in the sink as she likes the worktop clear.

So she’d rather a load of dirty pans/whatever than clean ones that are showing on the top? Am I mad or is that weird.

Also other feedback I’ve received over the years by exes:

  • have windscreen wipers on too fast
  • drive in the wrong gear
  • am OCD about things (I am diagnosed OCD)
  • am too old to skateboard (when I was 28)

Am sure there’s more. I want to hear what you lot get told off for

I bring the Missus up on this. Kills me when she’s doing 50mph in 3rd. She can buy the fucking diesel.

Getting it in her hair.



I get this too.
Utter madness given her apparent fear of opening the dishwasher to put dirty shit into instead opting to fill up the sink.

I’ve also offered to draw her a map to the wheelie bin outside for a fairly similar reason.

Pretty much anything I’m doing, if she is around, she will give me advice as though I’m doing something incorrectly and it really fucking annoys me.
It’s got to the point where I tell her to fuck off somewhere else because she won’t complain about the end result so it doesn’t matter how I get there.

What, diesel?


Not sure the internets have enough space for my entries.

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Being told I’m driving too fast and too close to the car in front, but to be fair she only does that when she’s not busy telling me I’m driving too slow

Mine gets mad if I leave dirty dishes in the sink or if I’ve cleaned them but let them dry on the kitchen worktop as that space has to be clear. For some reason, leaving dirty dishes somewhere else is not a problem at all.

I get told I’m messy all the time. She’s not totally wrong.

Sometimes she’ll go through those weird crises where we have to clean the flat or even redecorate a room or rearrange furniture and those always happen at the worst times, like after a long day of hiking or something, when all you want to do is lying on your couch for a bit. Mental.

Having sex with her sister. Like c’mon, be a bit more open minded!


the list i can think of includes - eating apples wrong, breathing too loudly, turning music off to park a car, folding pages over in books, whistling, washing up wrong, etc.etc.


I absolutely hate this. The worst is “we need to sort the paperwork drawer.” I know it’s necessary but I pretty much exclusively chuck things in there that I never want to see again, so even though it only takes a short time it always feels painful.

Arrange the cushions on the sofa wrong, put moisturiser on my face wrong…

Everything has to be really clean and tidied-up all the time in case some friends show up or we invite someone at home spontaneously. I tell her our place doesn’t have to be a window display or a fucking museum and she says I’m a mess.

Massive argument and told I was disrespecting her and all women when I said the tv show we were about to watch was ‘supposed to be alright’ and had a ‘good chance to see some boobs’.
At this point I’m basically giving up making ‘jokes’.
Didn’t watch the tv show obvs.


Yeah my missus wants the place looking like a vogue homes featured house 24/7 which is a bit difficult when you have a 2 year old who has shit in the middle of the floor in as many weeks


My girlfriend is super open-minded and we have pics and drawings of naked babes all over our flat, that’s pretty cool.

She does watch weird shit on TV but I don’t care. More time to watch Krooked vids on my laptop innit?

What was the TV show? Asking for a friend.

That stupid Witcher thing on Netflix.
Let me know if it’s any good.


Got a nice Ed T print of some nice lady in a bra on my wall. That’s disrespectful also.
We ain’t moving in together anytime soon.