Fuck em.
I guess he’s angry and struggling to come to terms with the situation but fucking hell what a bell end. ‘And now everyone’s bummed’ - yeah, as if that matters. Such an emotionally tone deaf response.
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I don’t think that was inconsiderate myself but then I didn’t know him and it doesn’t look like too much of the circumstances will be made public either so maybe there’s something I’m missing. I think it’s good that this subject is being discussed more openly though.
Actually watched it now … what an idiot. No real understanding of the concept of depression.
I always associate the “suicide is selfish” argument as an ignorant assumption that people on the outside of the bubble of mental health see, but not something those effected with ill mental health would ever agree on. I guess it’s hard when you feel you need to offer an opinion on something you have no experience with (I’m assuming he doesn’t).
It would be abit like me giving advice to someone whose pregnant because it’s having a negative effect on people around them.
Told my mum about him and even though she’d never heard of Ben she burst out into tears because she was so upset that somebody could feel so alone and sad.
Who’s first thoughts are “that’s selfish”. Ridiculous.
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I’ve heard it said before and my response is that depression is a selfish illness, it can make you do selfish things but it’s understandable because you literally have to look after number 1 and do what you have to do to survive (or to ease/end your misery). It’s so fucked up.
I can kind of understand the mentality if someone has never experienced it, and the fist time it impacts their life is to hav a loved one ripped away from them. It’s easy to get angry but get angry and the disease, not the person. Turning around and making someone’s suicide out to be something the victim has done to the people around them is always lame.
What did the guy say on the episode? Not gonna watch it. The comments on YouTube don’t seem to be pissed off.
Yeah could someone paraphrase?
No fucking way am I watching 1 second of a “9 club experience”
Wow, I’m speechless
I guess in calling it murder he’s implying that Ben is not solely responsible for his death.
As opposed to calling him selfish and assuming it was entirely his rational decision.
I hope that’s what he means.
As somebody who tried to kill themselves a number of times growing up, has had decades of counselling, still regularly wants out of this clusterfuck called life and has lost a number of people important, including the love of my life, to suicide, I agree with Roger. Suicide is the ultimate selfish act.
Not saying the person going through the depression wasn’t suffering immeasurably, of course they were, but the effect it has on others is so extreme, beyond just about anything else possible, it is ridiculous to suggest it isn’t selfish.
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Ok yeah thanks for the perspective and I can see where you are coming from. Think maybe the quite aggressive tone and way in which Roger voiced it is what rubbed me the wrong way.
I’m sure he didn’t mean in to offend anyone deep down but think it came across quite flippant
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Granted, I guess that’s one interpretation of the words. Although murder implies culpability of those that choose or consider suicide, which I guess is what I take issue with, in the sense that it’s an act of last resort in a life that’s failing them in some way, not a rational choice.
Yeah that’s the thing. I’m sure Bagley didn’t mean to offend anyone but those Nine Club dudes have got to realise the forum they have. So many kids will be watching that. I just think it was quite an inconsiderate way to talk about the sad death of a troubled human.
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I wonder if kids really do watch it… I mean, do their parents know that they’re watching videos of men in their mid 40s, with no appreciable life skills, talk about crap on the internet?
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We all deal with death differently, especially someone we care about (and as Roger filmed for enjoi you know he spent a lot of time around Ben). When my ex killed herself I started messaging her on Facebook messenger and they weren’t always soppy messages; I was so fucking angry with her for what she’d done to her poor family.
And Sk8arrog8 there’s a lot to be said about the fawning over somebody when they die at their own hand; this can feed into the narcissism of somebody else considering suicide, fantasizing about the tragic romance of it. More people need to be honest like Roger and say just how fucking self centered it is, if that saves even one life it’s worth it.
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He’s being honest about how he felt. That’s comendable but he definitely should have followed it up with something to explain his reaction and that there are other reactions to have, if he even is aware of other opinions on suicide. he should have not just left it at that.
I was sort of angry when my Dad hung himself but more dissapointed in him. In fact the numbness definitely stopped the anger coming to the surface. Which sounds terrible now. I don’t think any of us took his depression seriously or even thought it was that much of a struggle for him.
I feel guilty for not knowing anything about it and being sellfish enough to think that how much it has affected us.
Sorry the key bit I left out is the culpability. When I was suffering last year I started reading about The Chimp Paradox. Basically it’s an analogy for part of your brain and you have an “inner chimp”. It is not your rational thoughts and this who or what I meant is culpable.
