Pointless Topics

Successfully applied to not to go back to uni for a while, but I still have to register, and one of the questions asks me if I’m a member of the GTRSB (Gypsy, Traveller, Roma, Showman or Boater) community. Did not know they had their own union.

Is that a posh way of saying Carnie?

Yeah. When I used to work doing bouncy castles we’d borrow equipment from ‘the showmen’ fairly often. They didn’t dress like that though; they wore tracksuits and leather jackets, drove current-plate SUVs and lived in a little caravan town they’ve built behind the Forge shopping centre.

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Yeah, I was just using the photo for how you imagine a ‘showman’ to look, against the reality of a carnie, haha.

Erm, sorry what?

We’d pick them up from containers in the morning and drive to wherever they’d been hired from. Plug the blowers in, watch them inflate, then sit around eating crisps and smoking weed in the sun (or van if it was raining) until it was finished, then let it down and try to stuff it back in the van.

The events were usually fetes, corporate parties or pub events. Bouncy castles and bungee runs for the kids, a bucking bronco for the adults. Did one at Faslane, and had an armed escort. Loads of sick shit happened doing job. Did it for a couple of years while signing on in the late 90s.

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Might be a regional thing but I’m seeing waaaaay more women (almost always women) having phone conversations where the phone’s on speaker and they’re holding it at chest level. Why do people do that? I’ve only ever used speakphone when I’m driving.

Do people think both sides of their conversation are so interesting that it needs to be broadcast? Maybe they think it makes them look busy and important, like some fuckwit with a bluetooth earpiece queuing for McDonald’s in 2003.

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I blame The Apprentice. I dont have hard data but I’m sure it started then. Makes you look important.

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Right. Haven’t seen it but I know what it is and yeah, that fits in with these people and their important lives.

“Listen to me, if you can’t get three - and I mean three - Greggs sausage rolls to me before I have to pick little Lexxii and Kanye up from school, you can heat up your own Rusters burger tonight! Good bye!”

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Yes to the speaker/-aloft-conversation. Def a certain age that do it. Men and women.
They will always have that bizarre ‘book phone protector’ situation. I honestly can’t think of the word.

No one holds a phone properly in London. Every conversation is done on loudspeaker while holding your phone like you’re speaking into a magic device.

The only thing I can think of is that so many people call via WhatsApp now and this avoids accidentally pressing the screen with your face?

It irrationally annoys the hell out of me

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image

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I do it, don’t give a fuck.

Why? Isn’t it harder to hear the person? Do you do it on public transport?

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Not on public transport, thats rude, just when I’m walking around because I’m usually playing Pokemon Go.

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Jaws will skate it, straight to flat. This is what his whole skateboarding career has been leading up to

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Man up you pussies. Just need a lil hippy jump at the end, sorted.

basically the same as that one matt clarke did anyway

Really?

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Are they going to crucify you?
If the answer is no, I’m pretty sure you will survive.